Be ready to get results!

This post is continued from Part 1.

5.  Iron your shirts – Sounds simple and almost amateur advice. But if I had a dollar for every gen Y male that I saw with an unironed shirt I would be one rich man. Even if you don’t iron it well, as long as it looks like you have cared the result on your image, and attraction from the opposite sex can be 10 fold. That is not an exaggeration. Just iron your shirts and look like you care about your appearance. Women take lots of time in their appearance and they really appreciate a man who will do the same.

6. Batch your email – Not exactly style advice, I know, but this is a very liberating little trick to do, and one that can save you lots of time (so that you have more time for that grooming session that you are going to do weekly J). I won’t expand too much on this, because I will let the master Tim Ferriss here explain it for you. But, make sure you will do it and you will easily have an extra 10 hours a week to yourself. Trust me I have saved even more than that each and every week just from doing it.

7.  Keep records of outfits that you think look good – Have you ever come to the point and thought “I need some new clothes” and then went and bought some, only to realise that what you bought was trendy at the time, and in a few weeks they were out of style, or they didn’t really suit your image in the first place? Then you have to buy more clothes again and waste twice as much money.

To overcome this, first you need to take notice of what other people wear. If they look good, don’t be afraid to take notice and look at trying the same thing yourself one day soon.

Now days if I see an outfit that I like in a magazine, or a manikin in the front of a store with a cool kit on, I take a picture on my iphone for later reference. Similarly if I am browsing on the web and see a similar sort of thing I will just right click and save the pic in a folder on my desk top.

That way when it comes to shopping, I have a quick 5 minute look through my archives and say I will try this, this and this and it’s all done. Lasting style! and no trends that will be out in a week.

8. Go the extra step when you get dressed – This might sound very ambiguous. The concept is very similar to the last post I done here .

To be considered stylish and have an image that people recognise, you need to stand out from the crowd. All it means is that you should dress up a notch higher to everyone around you. If people where jeans and a t-shirt to an event – you should wear jeans and a button down shirt. If others wear a shirt and slacks – you should add a tie. If others add a tie – you should wear a blazer, or a bow tie. I am sure you get the picture.

This is always difficult at the start, even expect lots of comments. Some will be compliments, some will seem as though they are making fun of you, but that’s what people do when they are jealous of what you wear.

9. Just ask the question – Over the past 12 months or so I have done so many “mini experiments on this topic. It is amazing what you can get if you just ask. Want something free? – just ask. Want to advance the line to get into the club that? – just ask (with an angle helps – more on my full proof method on this coming soon). Want a discount on something you are buying? – just ask. Want your bank to reverse the last late fee they charged you – just ask? Want to go out with that cute girl in accounts? – just ask.

You are not going to get what you want absolutely every time. But from my experience 50-75% of the time you do. Just remember – Ask with Confidence!

10. Work out – If you are not currently working out regularly you are doing yourself the biggest injustice known to man.  The benefits are endless, and I am sure most of you should be aware of them. From confidence and mental clarity to just plain looking good as a result. The fact is it works and will improve every single aspect of your life. Start, start right away and continue to do it regularly.

So there we have it. 10 simple things you can do with big results.

Take Action

1. Choose 1 or the above. Only 1 – the one that you think is most relevant to you and will have the biggest impact on your life. Then put it into action. Make it a regular thing that you do. Only after you are doing it regularly should you chose and take action on another.

What do you think? Have you got any simple new year’s resolutions? Are there any of the 10 things that I have mentioned above would you like me to expand on in a future post?

10 simple yet effective things!

Happy Australia Day! As I write this today is Australia day 26^th of Jan and it won’t be long before I venture off to a friend’s BBQ for beers and listen to the hottest 100 songs in Aus for the year, but first I wanted to get out this post.

Welcome back all! This is my first post for 2010 and although I planned on posting it sooner, I have been extremely busy in amongst the holidays, travel and new projects that I am working on. It is all very exciting. Details of my new projects will be released as soon as they are up and running.

As I was getting over my extreme eating and drinking habits from the Christmas and New Year’s period I got to thinking of some little things that will be good to focus on in order to get maximum results. i.e. “bang for my buck actions”.

In doing so I have come up with a list of 10 minor things (in no particular order) that if done can have a huge impact on not only your style and image but also your life.

1. Have a weekly grooming session – This is not as gay as it sounds actually. I think its important to “groom up “ as much as possible – aim for weekly, do it more if you can, and if you can’t just do it as much as possible.

All you need to do is spend an extra (relaxed) half hour in the morning following your shower, to have a good shave, trim any body hair, use great after shave lotions, moisturize, trim nails, even get a haircut if you need. Long story short, afterward you will feel like a new man and new men have one thing that will help you in all your endeavors – Confidence.

1. Eat More Protein, Less Carbs – Simple! Protein aids in muscle gain, recovery and fat loss. Carbs don’t. By consciously cutting down on Carbs and increasing protein to take their place you will feel and look magnitudes better.

I will be having more on this in the coming month, because I am sure we all have a few pounds from the festive season that we want to get rid of. I will detail how I lost and toned 25 pounds without changing my lifestyle or denying myself indulgence and enjoyment. Stay tuned!!

1. Remember people’s names – I won’t go into too much detail on this because I think it is quite obvious. If you want more detail refer to a previous post I have done here .  This is a skill of leaders and important people, and not really a hard one if you put your mind to it!

1. Listen to New Music Regularly – Get up with the times. Too many 25-35 year old men regurgitate the music that they had lots of fun to in their college days because they are comfortable with it. Its not an attractive feature. Listening to new music can pick you up when you are down, it shows you’re not outdated, and gives a great talking point for girls and other potential friends.

So find your genre, find sites with new and upcoming recommendations and just sit down and listen, or even listen to it in the car instead of that old CD that you have heard 1000 times. More on this to come – I am going to outline step by step some sites I use and how I outsource finding new music, so all I need to do is listen.

To be continued in Part 2

Keep the conversation going for hours!

I’m sure it has happened to all of us! You are talking to someone new that you have just met and after the usual “what do you do?” and “Where do you live?’ the conversation completely dry’s up and you both are stuck there with an awful silence.

Well not any more…

The Quest for knowledge

Personally I think the best way to usually keep a conversation going at any time is to want to learn new things.

Did you know that EVERY question you ask someone you are actually learning something new. Even simple questions like “where did you buy that from?”, “What’s the weather going to be on the weekend?” you are extending your knowledge and hence learning.

If you want to learn new things then you are going to be generally interested in other peoples lives and the topics that they are experts (or know more than you) in.

Sometimes it may just be probing with a few extra questions to find this.

Easy Buttons

If, however, you still can not find something of mutual passion and conversation here are some easy techniques that once applied, can keep a conversation going for quite some time.

1. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

Repeat the other persons last sentence – This is my favourite, simply for the fact that it requires no creative input from yourself.

Basically the idea is that when you are talking to another person you repeat the last thing that anyone said as a question. This technique is also known as “parroting”.

The core idea behind it is that people love to extend their conversation on the things that they are interested in. And by you repeating what they have already said, gives them fuel for their “self interest” fire.

An Example:

You: ” what did you get up to on the weekend”

Them: ” Went to the ball game on Saturday”

You: ” You went to the game on Saturday?”

Them: Yeh we did, took my son along for his first game etc. etc…..But it was good to see my team win!”

You: “So it was good to see the team win?”

Them: “Yeh they have been struggling a lot lately, and had lots of injuries etc. etc….” – I’m sure you get the picture.

Think how long you could keep a conversation using this going. I have experimented with this on many occasions, and it always works, which is why I love it.

2. Become a word spy

You can generally tell a lot by the language that someone uses. I know of people (myself included) who listen to things such as podcasts, audio books etc. and can tell the way people think just through the language that they use.

For example analytical thinkers will use words such as test, quantify, numbers, figures, add up, results etc.

This can come in handy, if you have a mentor that you want to be like – simply start implementing some of the words that they use (and that you don’t yet) into your daily life and you will start to program your subconscious mind into thinking in similar ways.

That was slightly off of this topic, but the way it can help us keep a conversation is to listen to some of the words they say/use etc. and hone in on them to use as the next question you ask or topic you talk about.

Example: Most of you would have at onetime experienced talking to someone who just seem to be quite rude when trying to make small talk. I little while ago I was trying to spark up conversation with someone that fits that exact description, trying to mention anything I could to spark it:

Me: “so been busy today?”

Him “yes” (one word answer)

Etc.

Me: “How’s the weather today pretty wet isn’t it?”

Him: “Yes, but the farmers will stop complaining” (again in the rude voice)

It was right there, that a lot of people would continue asking more boring questions. However, I honed in on the fact that he mentioned the one word – farmer in his talking.

Me: “do you know some farmers do you?”

Him:” Yes, I actually grew up on a farm” (his tone of voice gradually starting to change)

Me: “So did I…where was you farm etc.”

And from here the conversation went on for quite some time.

So to refresh: people, when discussing all sorts of things, drop single words about their “passions” and/or “interest” all the time. The key is to be on the lookout for such words and use them to fuel the conversation when it is slowing down or even come to a complete halt.

3. Eaves drop

This little technique is quite self explanatory.

Basically, this comes in handy when you want to introduce yourself to someone new, be it a big businessman in the same field as you, someone famous you want to meet, or even a cute girl that’s been sitting in the group next to you all night.

As the title suggests just keep an ear out for what they are talking about with their friends or the other people in their group to get a gauge of what the “target” person is interested in.

When you find some bait that you can work with, it is time to go over and talk to them yourself. For example If you overhear them talking about travelling to Paris. You could head over to them and say:

“I couldn’t help but overhear you were going to head to Paris later in the summer, I am actually a big fan of the city and have been there several times myself” This will give you more than enough fuel to kick start and also keep the conversation going strong.

Social Intelligence

Social intelligence is a very big thing for us as men to get right. Techniques such as the above all come under the social intelligence umbrella.

It helps us with our charm, charisma, social proof and influence which boost our presence and overall image.

As I’ve talked about in previous posts, the above mentioned are very important to creating an overall and lasting style that will have YOU being the one man everyone else wants to be with and know

Take Action

1. Pick one of the above techniques that you think will apply best to you and your situation
2. The next time you are at a party, business function, networking event or anywhere where you need to try this technique and watch your conversation go on for a lot longer than it perhaps would have.

What do you think? If you give these a try in your next social interaction please report back to the comments page and let us all know how you went? Have you got any other techniques for keeping a conversation going that you use regularly?

Shaking hands can tell so much about a relationship!

The other day I was watching a short You Tube video on Will Smith after it was posted on a blog that I regularly read – Kinowear .

It was actually very late, and I wasn’t concentrating very much on the video , until there was approximately 10 seconds remaining in it, when Tavis Smiley and Will shook hands.

The Handshake

It certainly wasn’t the normal handshake as you can see in the screen capture of the video below, note that Tavis’s hand is very much palm facing upwards, whilst Will’s is the opposite:

The Will Smith handshake

It got me thinking about handshakes and how we do (and can) use them in our everyday business and social lives.

Palms are the most powerful (non-verbal) signals given by humans

I have spoken briefly about palms in one of my other posts and how you can apply them to reading someone’s thoughts and gestures.

There are actually 3 types of palm actions but the two that we are concerned with in this case is “exposed/open palms” and ” closed or downward facing palms”. To summarize:

Exposed, open or upwards facing palms displays:

• Honesty
• Truth
• Allegiance
• Most importantly submission

Closed, hidden or downwards palms will display the opposite:

• Authority
• Dominance
• Lying or possibly hiding something

A Handshake

These exact same attitudes can be displayed if you exhibit these palm actions when giving a hand shake.

1.       If you shake hands with your palm facing slightly downward, you are showing you are the dominant one of the relationship and/or that you are going to take control of what is about to follow.

The dominant handshake

2.       If you shake hands with your palm facing slightly upward you are saying “I am going into submission and let you take control of the situation”

The submissive handshake

3.       If you shake hands directly upright and even with someone you are saying ” were on a level playing field” and this is how rapport begins

The neutral handshake

How we can take advantage of this

I got to thinking about it and I believe that it is not JUST the dominant hand shake style that can help us in our everyday business and social pursuits. I think ALL three situations can help us, so long as we are controlling what action we are taking and consciously aware of what is taking place. I’ll explain each one in a little bit more detail:

1.       Slightly downward = When you need to show your in control - probably the most obvious of the three. I think this should only be used rarely where we need to show someone else that we are in control. E.g. when we are purchasing something from a seller, or courting a girl.

On a complete side note: This is one of the reason palm reading tricks work so well when picking up girls (i.e. in Neil Strauss’s book the game). Because their palms are exposed, and yours are turned downwards, giving them the attitude of submission and you the attitude of dominance…making your job a lot easier from there on.

2.       Slightly Upward = When it’s in YOUR favor to let the other person THINK they are in control - I think that this is the action that can be exploited the most by us. It could be very handy should you have a sales call where you need the buyer to feel like they are making the decision totally by themselves and not being forced into it.

It also made me think about Law number 1 in Robert Greene’s book The 48 Laws of Power.

In Greene’s book Law 1 states:

“Never outshine the master: Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please and impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make you masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.”

I think this specifically applies to:

1.       Your boss

2.       A mentor (or potential mentor)

3.       Any one at all you can learn from

Truth be told it is in YOUR best interest to learn from them and if they appear better, smarter and more brilliant than everyone else they are more likely to be open with you and teach you a everything they know about the subject you are trying to learn from them.

On the other hand if you appear you are smarter than them, and have the control, they will see you as a threat, not be honest with you and replace you with someone less intelligent, less attractive, less threatening etc.

Motto of the story: even if sometimes you may know better than you superior it can be an idea to bight your tongue, disguise your strengths and act naive. Because after all at this point your only goal is learning from them. In this case it is not a weakness to disguise your strengths, but rather one day will be a positive because you have the control and eventually will have all the knowledge also.

3.       Directly upright = When you want to build rapport with someone -

Pretty simple. This is “the norm” and be used on the majority of encounters when first meeting someone and want to build rapport.

If someone tries to lay a dominant handshake on you be sure to take a step inwards (in their comfort zone making them feel slightly thrown off) and try to even the hands up. This results in a vice like hand shake and represents a symbolical struggle, however, will build rapport with the other dominant player.

Take Action

1.       The first thing to do is to be consciously aware of the different styles of handshakes whenever you shake hands with someone else

2.       Pick out a specific example in your life where you believe one of the first 2 types of handshakes can benefit you. Mine is with my boss because the more he believes he is in control, the more control I actually have, as favourable thoughts and decisions will start rolling my way = miss-direction (which I am going to talk about in a later post)

What do you think? What specific examples in your business or social encounters do you think this could help you in.

Remember, for extra tips, insights and secrets that I do not publish in this blog sign up for our FREE email newsletter in the top right hand corner of the home page.

This will help improve your public speaking...No megaphone required!

Have you ever had to speak in front of two or more people at a business meeting, product launch or at any other time, not know what to do with your hands and felt very nervous because of it?

Well this little trick that the  professionals use will put an end to that…

The Pen

By simply using a pen as a prop when doing your talking, it will subconsciously take away any nervousness or doubt about what to do with your hands.

But you can just hold it any how…

Hold it as though you are giving someone an autograph

Hold the pen in your dominant hand as if you were going to give someone else an autograph (i.e. you’re about to write) as shown below:

When your palms are facing upwards

When your palms are faced downwards

Why it works

Truth be told, I actually don’t know why it works. But it does and I find it makes a huge difference.

Next time you watching a talk show, or watching someone give an interview see if they have a pen in there hand. I notice it all the time now that I am aware of it.

It’s a professional secret.

As an example one of Australia’s top interviewers and television presenters (Eddie Maguire) never usually uses it as he is a really good, confident public speaker.

However, a couple of years ago, he had to do a very controversial interview, with one of the best players in AFL football who had been suspended indefinitely due to drug use.

As it turned out, to combat some of his nervousness during the interview, he reverted back to using the pen in his hand like a lot of other presenters do and also as he did in his early days of interviewing and presenting.

The $900 tip

I learnt this at a professional public speaking workshop done by a man who works with high level politicians.

It cost $900 for the day.

And this was the most valuable tip that I got out of the day.

Take Action

1. Next time you have to speak in front of any sort of crowd (i.e. more than two people) try using a pen in your dominant hand and see if you notice the difference. It could be at a business meeting, in your bosses office, at an even, or even at a social gathering (make sure it doesn’t look too stupid to have a pen in your hand at a social gathering though).

What do you think? We all do some sort of public speaking; some of us just don’t call it public speaking because we are not in front of an audience of 200-300 people. What sort of public speaking do you do, and what tips do you use during?

Remember anyone's name. No post-it notes required

How many times have you been in the position where you have met 3 or 4 new people in a group and when you end up talking to them later you can’t remember the names of any of them?

I know I have…lots and lots of times.

It was actually almost becoming a problem for me, especially at work, where part of my role was building up client relationships, and meeting new people.

At Work

At work, the majority of the time, when I met someone new I was focusing on what I had to do or say to promote our product and answer the questions that they had, rather than focusing on remembering their name when I met them.

One quick solution to this in a “business” situation, is to hand them your business card, and in doing so ask them if they have one as well.

Then, as you should always do when someone hands you their business card (its good etiquette) , you can look at their name on the card.

Casual Social Situations

This above approach does not work in a casual social situation, because you will look pretty stupid. so we need a new approach.

I recently went to a seminar (for work) and the presenter introduced himself on the way in and made sure to ask everyone for their name.

An hour into him giving the presentation, whenever someone raised their hand to ask a questions, he could rattle of every single person’s name, as they asked their question.

He later shared his secret later, which I use now, and it works really well.

Think In Pictures

I’m not sure of the exact percentages, but humans learn so much better when they think pictorially.

This is exactly how people can memorise whole decks of cards in the exact order or in Ben Pridmore’s case 27.

Long story short, in order to memorise anyone’s name:

1.       Make sure you hear their name. Too many people rush their name when asked, so don’t be afraid to ask someone for it again.

2.       Repeating their name after they say it can also help submit it to our subconscious

3.       Pause for a second to picture their face doing in the body of someone famous with the same name.

For example

The presenter went on to confess that he memorised the following things for the different people:

James – pictured james’s face in a James Bond (007) Out fit with a gun

Sam – He just finished watching Lord of The Rings and pictured Sam’s face with Samwise’s body

Jessica – He was a big fan of Jessica Alba so pictured Jess’s face with a sexy Jessica Alba body.

I have since used this same technique and it works really well. And helps with long-term memory retrieval of their name.

I think the hardest part is making sure that you pause to picture them. Without this part the whole process will fall down.

Take Action

1.       Next time you meet someone new, be sure to picture them as someone famous that you easily remember, even make it someone funny, because that will make it even easier for you to remember.

2.       Slowly but surely build this into a habit and you will never have any problem remembering any ones name again

What do you think? What other techniques have you used or currently use to make sure you remember people’s names? Please comment in the comment section.