It's that easy!

What if I told you that you could that you could improve your overall style several-fold with:

No cost
No Change in the way you currently dress
By implementing one change

Would you be interested?

Well the truth is that through one simple mind-set shift this is entirely possible. In fact I believe it is the necessary first step in order to undergo your transformation into style. It is probably one of the easiest ways to start and creates for a great mindset shift for the future.

Step It Up A Notch

Although. Not everyone will be aware of it we all have “Notches” on our own “Internal Dress Code”. These notches are just different levels of casual or formal wear WHENEVER we have to get dressed for something.

Everyone of has their own “dress code” for different events and activities in which they participate. Not just parties and special events, but I am referring to the broad sense of EVERYTHING we do. In other words, when were not nude.

All the style books, websites and blogs out there talk about dress codes and keep regurgitating things such as black tie, smart casual etc. but let’s be honest the percentage of times where these dress codes are relevant to us are a very small percentage of the total times in which we actually wear clothes J.

If we can realize our own style dress codes, it makes it easier for us to step them up a notch and instantly become more stylish.

Our own codes

As I said each of us have our own (probably mostly subconscious) dress code for every single thing we do. Typically starts at very casual and hopefully moves up to quite formal (for some people it doesn’t and that is the whole reason we are here trying to work on it, so don’t worry about that).

I have come up with generally 4 core codes for each of us, which should encompass everything.  Everyone will categorize their own differently, which is good and all part of the process. There are also two extra codes which are Formal and Work.

For the purpose of this post work stands by itself because a lot of people will have a standard work uniform or dress code for each individual work place, for example a tradeperson is not going to be able to apply this for work. But personal life is a different story, because this is where we have complete and free choice. NB: Feel free to add work dress into a category if and where you see fit.

As a general rule the higher the code the less number of times in a given month or year you will dress this way, i.e. you will wear code 1 and 2 a lot more than code 4 or the formal code – hence the reason for the triangle:

Our current internal dress code

To put it in perspective below are some events or everyday activities that may coincide with each code:

Code 1

• Staying at home
• Gym, run down the street or working out
• Going for a drive
• Visiting a close friend

Code 2

• Going to the supermarket
• Going for a walk down the street
• Visit a friend
• Going to the shops
• Flying on a plane

Code 3

• Casual Dinner
• Having a day out
• Traveling
• An event or show

Code 4

• Having a night out
• Attending an important function
• Going on a Hot Date

These are just examples and you will probably have different things that fit into each code. The examples above are pretty much what it used to look like for myself.

Money for Nothing

So how does knowing this help us? Well we can use this information now to increase our own internal dress code and step our style up that extra and well deserved notch.

We simply wear what we currently wear in code 2 during our code 1 activities, code 3 for our code 2 activities and code 4 for our code 3 activities and then introducing parts of our formal wear (not all, but mix and match) in what was previously code 4 activities.

The change needed in our internal dress code

Our new internal dress code

By doing this one thing we will increase our style and sophistication and be one step above all our friends and colleagues attending the same places, events or situations. This will cause us to stand out and be noticed which is really the whole aim of the game.

Ultra Casual Should No Longer Exist

Enough said. We should not being wearing super casual clothes out in public or in any one’s eye. We always want to be known as the man who goes that extra effort and looks good, because that’s what women notice and want. If you have women following you, then other men are soon going to follow suit (In a respectful way J).

Take Action

1. Assess your current internal dress codes and what you would likely wear in each code above.
2. Go about making an effort to step it up that extra notch (to the next code) every time you go out and do something in the public eye (which is if ANY one else will be seeing you)

What do you think? What are your typical internal dress codes and how do you determine what you will wear to the next outing, date, event or anything else you need to get dressed for?

Self Explanatory!

Who else hates doing repetitive, ongoing tasks like grooming, exercising and shopping?

Me too…In the past, I have never enjoyed getting a haircut! Every time it was overdue I would get negative feelings that would lead into procrastination.

I wanted to spend my time and money doing something else fun and exciting rather than doing these repetitive things in life that we have to maintain. This would cause me to build up resentment towards the things that are only going to help me in the short-term AND long-run.

I have had the same experience with other grooming events.

Here’s a brief break down of what used to happen around haircut time:

My hair would start getting longer, I would say to myself I have to get a haircut soon. Only remember that when it came time to do my hair in the morning, and then forget it again until the next morning.

• I put it off and put it off. Meanwhile it would get too long and not look good, this would knock down my confidence a peg or two. Also it drained a small amount of mental energy as a result of always thinking I should “get it done soon”, a sense of worry.
• One of the reasons, also, that I didn’t want to get it done is the cost. I didn’t want to spend my money on this, I would rather, buy something fun or use it to go out and have some beers etc.
• I would continue to whinge that I have to do these type of things and use these as a (negative) conversation piece when talking to friends – which is not very cool by the way, and once I realised this made a conscious effort to change.

The one thing I was forgetting through this process:

I have to do it!

It’s inevitable (as much as I don’t like that word). Not inevitable period, but if I want to keep looking good, stay well groomed and constantly impress I would HAVE TO DO IT.

And lets be honest, the same goes with other grooming and everyday obligations that benefit us such as:

• Shaving
• Shaving/trimming/waxing other body hair
• Dressing up more than normal
• Trimming nails
• Working out
• Eating well
• Getting clothes washed, ironed or dry clean (by yourself or others)
• Folding and putting clothes away to keep them in good condition
• Purchasing new clothes
• Even small things such as cleaning teeth, showering, moisturising, putting on cologne as I know a lot of men that forgo even these obligations. And they may sound gay and feminine, but lets be honest they need to be done so we can be at our best.

So, once we accept these things that we need to do and then do them quickly without even thinking about them we can move on to do bigger and better things for our day, week or month, as our mental energy will not be taken up by things that should be a part of our (positive) habits and rituals anyway.

To demonstrate this – Think about the most stylish, powerful and successful man you know. I am sure that they will never even think about these things or bother discussing them, because they are a part of his everyday habits and routine, and they have got a lot bigger and better things to think about and discuss with their friends and colleges.

Accept it! – The all important first step.

Do It

Now that we have accepted it, in the way that someone having to go to AA would first accept that they are an alcoholic, we can moving onto doing our obligations quickly, efficiently and effortlessly.

Below are some tips that, I have used, for some of the obligations that we have as a stylish man:

• Set up an automated schedule – My haircut is simple now, Every 6 weeks A reminder pops up in my calendar, and I get it done within the next couple of days.
• Batch Similar tasks – If I am going to be brushing my teeth in the morning, then why not shave immediately following this, and then trim your eyebrows. I guess this one is pretty self explanatory, but lot of men don’t do this. Make it a routine or ritual if you will. Get all grooming out the way in one go and then your set for the rest of the day.
• Stay organised – This is very general, but the more organised you are the easier it is to do these little things. If something is hard to find then you are not going to do it, simple.
• If there is a cost involved automate the (monthly or weekly) cost into an account to be used for these and THESE ONLY. A $40 haircut once every 6 weeks equates to approx $30 per month. I have this automatically go into my “Style Budget” on pay day, and guess what I have no excuse to not want to fork out the money for my haircut. I will have a lot more on the style budget on a later post so keep tuned.
• Associate something positive with it. Now when I get my haircut I pay the extra $5 to get the hair wash and massage. Now I have the massage to look forward to, which makes me want to go even more. Which is amazing by the way and highly recommended it if you don’t get that done now. There is also nothing better than feeling good after a good grooming session. When it is time to get these things done, picture the positives and it will become a lot easier.
• Make it convenient – Similar to staying organised. Choose a Barber that you can go to whilst on your lunch break at work, or even better on a coffee break, not one that requires a drive a long way and that you can only do after work one night, as this wastes a whole night and there of course is no wonder why you want to put it off.

Take Action

If you find yourself procrastinating everyday things that the stylish, sophisticated and intelligent man should be doing in his sleep then make sure you

1. Accept it. Remember, that’s well over 50% of the battle.
2. Put into place some steps and actions based on the above tips to getting them to the point where you don’t exhaust any mental energy from you at all.
3. Use this left over energy to move onto bigger things. Whatever “bigger” means for you.

What do you think? Are there any other  “sticking points” you have when it comes grooming, general habits and obligations? How do you overcome them?

If you do something different...don't explain why!

Have you ever worn, tried or done something new only to receive negative or condescending comments from friends or other random guys as a result?

Well…you’re not alone. This happens every day and especially to the stylish, adventurous and powerful man.

This IS a good thing

Truth be told getting negative comments is actually a good thing for you because it means you are doing something right.

This may sound counter intuitive, as a lot of successful habits are, but as they say in the marketing world if you’re doing something right you are going to have people oppose it.

It is not even that people are opposing it in a sense… In fact it goes a lot deeper than that.

Why do people make condescending comments?

There are a few reasons why people will make negative comments. Of course it will depend on the situation, environment and relationship you have to that person, but generally it will be one or a combination of the following:

• They are Jealous (or threatened) – This covers a large majority of situations. It can be from a close friend to a stranger, but in the end a lot of comments come back to jealousy
• They actually like what your wearing/doing/tried – especially in the case when close friends throw a tongue in cheek comment your way. Or as the British would say “taking the piss”.
• They want an excuse to talk to you – when strangers say something condescending to you the large majority of the time is because they want an excuse to talk to you, especially when women do this. Unfortunately a lot of men would react with a fight or flight response and the situation can only go worse from there.

So what do we do

Well…what we don’t do is justify ourselves. To illustrate justifying yourself here is a little conversation…

Them: Nice shirt…do they make them for men

You: oh…well…I was shopping the other day with one of my friends…we went into this store that she said was cool…and although I didn’t like it…she thought that it looked good on me, so I bought it etc. etc.

There is no need to go to this effort because:

1. Deep down you know they didn’t actually mean it negatively (refer to the 3 reasons above)

2. You are a stylish male and confidently know what you are wearing is badass; and

3. You don’t need to or want to drop down to their level.

So what would the stylish intelligent man say:

Them: Nice shirt…do they make them for men

You: Yeh they do actually, would you like one? Or something along this line.

Simply dismiss it, positively, confidently and short. It doesn’t even have to be funny at all. But, by no means get caught up in a verbal slogging match or a long winded thought out answer to try and justify your decision…there is no need for it.

Why not justify

For a truly confident man who is “somebody” it’s really not in your reality that anyone should be condescending you or anything you wear. So when you do hear those comments you treat the comment based on one of “the reasons they said it” as described before. i.e. they just wanted to compliment you on what you are wearing, or they wanted an excuse to greet you etc.

It’s basically selective hearing at its best, but is fantastic for your confidence and eventually image.

Plus…why should you justify yourself to someone else, because you have consciously made the decision to wear whatever it is that you are, and that is the main thing.

Take Action

1. 1. Next time you wear or try something different and get comments from anyone, remember there is no need to justify yourself. Be confident in your decision. The more you “don’t justify” yourself, the less condescending comments you will actually receive in the future, because people are not getting “a bite” out of you anymore.

What do you think? Have you had any situations where you felt as though you should justify your actions? What did you do in this situation?

Be different!

I once read a quote that said:

“The definition of insane: doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result”

Would you agree that the stylish, influential and  powerful men you know are different to your average Joe?

They usually got that way, not because they do what everyone else does, but because they do things differently, or even the opposite of what everyone else does.

Within this post I will concentrate on one important thing that we should all work on:

Don’t Wait in Lines!

If you, or someone else, is standing in a long nightclub line and a couple well dressed people walk straight up to the bouncer and got straight in, you would think to yourself “they must be powerful, famous or important” I know as I have seen that happen and thought that on quite a few occasions.

Sometimes we don’t have a choice with something such as a night club (although a bit later I will be showing a process to be able to get straight in to any club, restaurant or pub straight away) but why do we stand in lines of other things that we do have a direct choice about?

Now, I try wherever I can NOT to stand in line and “follow the HERD”, things such as:

-          Supermarket lines – don’t shop the hours when everyone else does

-          Gyms – don’t go to the gym at peak times, this is also frustrating when you can’t get on the equipment that you want to

-          Restaurants – eat unusually early (when they first open for dinner) or unusually late (just before close), or simply when you are hungry, I am not sure who the person was that specified the times that we should eat 3 meals a day any way, but that’s discussion for another time.

-          Driving – If possible avoid driving or commuting in peak hour traffic. Ask your boss to telecommute. I know this example is not always possible for people. However, read the four hour work week if you feel like it is something you would like to pursue and need some inspiration

-          Even Vacations - I travel during non peak times of the year, because during either summer, Christmas break etc. Everyone has the same idea of traveling. Not only is it usually twice as expensive, but there is too many people around also.

It is very liberating and makes you feel pretty powerful to be able to do the opposite of what everyone else does. It will also save you time, which can be put into to other passions etc. to make the most out of your life.

Take Action

1.      Try not to “follow the herd” and do what everyone else does. Have confidence in yourself and your decisions to do the opposite. trust me it will pay off, it simplifies your tasks and is very empowering

2.      Write a list of the things that you do in your everyday life that you could do differently or at different times to avoid waiting. Then do them at different times, once you do you will never go back.

What do you think? Do you have anything else in your life that you “don’t wait in lines for” or “do the opposite of everyone else”? I would love to hear them and also apply them myself.

I recently done a guest post on www.36pounds.com about style and the thin man. If you are a thin man I would suggest you check it out as it has some great info on there.

Keep the conversation going for hours!

I’m sure it has happened to all of us! You are talking to someone new that you have just met and after the usual “what do you do?” and “Where do you live?’ the conversation completely dry’s up and you both are stuck there with an awful silence.

Well not any more…

The Quest for knowledge

Personally I think the best way to usually keep a conversation going at any time is to want to learn new things.

Did you know that EVERY question you ask someone you are actually learning something new. Even simple questions like “where did you buy that from?”, “What’s the weather going to be on the weekend?” you are extending your knowledge and hence learning.

If you want to learn new things then you are going to be generally interested in other peoples lives and the topics that they are experts (or know more than you) in.

Sometimes it may just be probing with a few extra questions to find this.

Easy Buttons

If, however, you still can not find something of mutual passion and conversation here are some easy techniques that once applied, can keep a conversation going for quite some time.

1. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

Repeat the other persons last sentence – This is my favourite, simply for the fact that it requires no creative input from yourself.

Basically the idea is that when you are talking to another person you repeat the last thing that anyone said as a question. This technique is also known as “parroting”.

The core idea behind it is that people love to extend their conversation on the things that they are interested in. And by you repeating what they have already said, gives them fuel for their “self interest” fire.

An Example:

You: ” what did you get up to on the weekend”

Them: ” Went to the ball game on Saturday”

You: ” You went to the game on Saturday?”

Them: Yeh we did, took my son along for his first game etc. etc…..But it was good to see my team win!”

You: “So it was good to see the team win?”

Them: “Yeh they have been struggling a lot lately, and had lots of injuries etc. etc….” – I’m sure you get the picture.

Think how long you could keep a conversation using this going. I have experimented with this on many occasions, and it always works, which is why I love it.

2. Become a word spy

You can generally tell a lot by the language that someone uses. I know of people (myself included) who listen to things such as podcasts, audio books etc. and can tell the way people think just through the language that they use.

For example analytical thinkers will use words such as test, quantify, numbers, figures, add up, results etc.

This can come in handy, if you have a mentor that you want to be like – simply start implementing some of the words that they use (and that you don’t yet) into your daily life and you will start to program your subconscious mind into thinking in similar ways.

That was slightly off of this topic, but the way it can help us keep a conversation is to listen to some of the words they say/use etc. and hone in on them to use as the next question you ask or topic you talk about.

Example: Most of you would have at onetime experienced talking to someone who just seem to be quite rude when trying to make small talk. I little while ago I was trying to spark up conversation with someone that fits that exact description, trying to mention anything I could to spark it:

Me: “so been busy today?”

Him “yes” (one word answer)

Etc.

Me: “How’s the weather today pretty wet isn’t it?”

Him: “Yes, but the farmers will stop complaining” (again in the rude voice)

It was right there, that a lot of people would continue asking more boring questions. However, I honed in on the fact that he mentioned the one word – farmer in his talking.

Me: “do you know some farmers do you?”

Him:” Yes, I actually grew up on a farm” (his tone of voice gradually starting to change)

Me: “So did I…where was you farm etc.”

And from here the conversation went on for quite some time.

So to refresh: people, when discussing all sorts of things, drop single words about their “passions” and/or “interest” all the time. The key is to be on the lookout for such words and use them to fuel the conversation when it is slowing down or even come to a complete halt.

3. Eaves drop

This little technique is quite self explanatory.

Basically, this comes in handy when you want to introduce yourself to someone new, be it a big businessman in the same field as you, someone famous you want to meet, or even a cute girl that’s been sitting in the group next to you all night.

As the title suggests just keep an ear out for what they are talking about with their friends or the other people in their group to get a gauge of what the “target” person is interested in.

When you find some bait that you can work with, it is time to go over and talk to them yourself. For example If you overhear them talking about travelling to Paris. You could head over to them and say:

“I couldn’t help but overhear you were going to head to Paris later in the summer, I am actually a big fan of the city and have been there several times myself” This will give you more than enough fuel to kick start and also keep the conversation going strong.

Social Intelligence

Social intelligence is a very big thing for us as men to get right. Techniques such as the above all come under the social intelligence umbrella.

It helps us with our charm, charisma, social proof and influence which boost our presence and overall image.

As I’ve talked about in previous posts, the above mentioned are very important to creating an overall and lasting style that will have YOU being the one man everyone else wants to be with and know

Take Action

1. Pick one of the above techniques that you think will apply best to you and your situation
2. The next time you are at a party, business function, networking event or anywhere where you need to try this technique and watch your conversation go on for a lot longer than it perhaps would have.

What do you think? If you give these a try in your next social interaction please report back to the comments page and let us all know how you went? Have you got any other techniques for keeping a conversation going that you use regularly?

Underconstruction!

This post is continued from What is Style? – Part 1

Image

This is the quart that usually has the most attention paid to it when men talk about style. However, it is usually in the form of wearing new articles of clothing that seem to be the latest trend that everyone is trying.

The truth is that Image contains a lot more within itself than just clothing. Yes, clothing is an huge part of it, but so is grooming, putting the clothing into an “outfit” and also lesser thought about ideals  such as keeping in shape, your reputation and social proof. Because let’s face it, if you have a bad reputation or no one else in a certain community likes you, then you are not going to have a good image – no matter what clothes you wear.

Intelligence

I think that this is a very under-rated quart and is also the most powerful. It is often ignored, and over looked in being able to help your style go the distance.

Essentially, if you have intelligence about everything, from what to dress in to what to say and do in the right situation, then this is going to boost your personal style more than anything you could ever wear.

Intelligence, used in the context of wanting to learn and gain knowledge on a large variety of subjects, is the back bone of not only the other quarts, but in most other aspects of your life as well.

Being intellectually curious can help you in anything you want to do. It can help you spark up a conversation with anyone, because you are genuinely interested in someone else’s life or only one aspect of their life – social intelligence.

Presence

Presence is the next step of improving your image. People can have presence on many different levels. Putting it basically, to have presence: when you enter  a room, you are noticed.

It is also when you have the ability to be the centre of attention, influence other people (morally) and essentially be in control of a situation.

In a nutshell: as an example, presence is that guy at the party that everyone knows is someone or is recognised for something. They could be rich, famous or know how to work a crowd. But not all of these aspects are required of us, because I am going to show you how to have presence, without being rich or famous, just through working with a few special tools.

Lifestyle

Similar to intelligence, your lifestyle is reflected in your outer self and will subconsciously help your outer image. It is about having good habits (and not just when people are watching you), it’s about being cultured and having plenty of outside interest to talk about, and as a result, have a informative conversation with any one you want and not bore someone with your un-interesting 9 to 5 job.

Once things about your personal style get kick-started, your lifestyle will start to come automatically (to a certain extent) because you will want to try, do and follow through with new things. However, there is still no reason why you can’t kick start it now by doing things that are out of your comfort zone whenever and wherever you get a chance.

Putting it all together

I hope this post hasn’t come across too philosophical. Because there is so much info that I wanted to share with all of you. I am going to be going into a lot more detail on each of these different quarts in separate self titled posts, which will include tools required for success in each quart. These will also give you  actionable steps and learning’s that you can put into place yourself straight away. So this is just an intro into future things to come.

Action steps

1.       Keep in mind that style is a lot more than just the clothing you wear, but rather it is about your overall persona and individualising it to your personality. Then look forward to the future posts where I will describe how you can work on each of the elements of style for yourself

What do you think? What is your definition of style? What are the main elements of my style definition that you think need the most work for yourself?

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Hmmm...what is style?

Men’s Style is NOT fashion!

There I said it! Maybe I’ve offended some people, contradicted others and maybe even agreed with a lot.

A common mistake that a lot of people (especially men) make, is that they seem to think Style=fashion, which ultimately couldn’t be further from the truth. Technically speaking, if a man dressed in everything that seemed to be “fashionable” at the time, he would be in a lot of trouble.

Men have it a lot easier than women in a sense, because women do have to keep up with “fashion” to be considered stylish. Fortunately for men, when it comes to clothing alone, there are lots of timeless pieces that are very stylish and always will be.

Style is deep

Style goes even deeper than just the clothes that one wears, and clothing is just a small part of overall style.

We’ve all seen the guy at a party or in some other social situation that you just know is “someone” because he has a certain style about him. This is what I am referring to and eventually what I want to get ALL our readers to achieve.

I have spent quite a lot of time trying to compose this post and hence figure out a way to systematise it. I basically did a brain dump of everything that I thought could possibly be associated with a stylish man in my journal, in order to come up with four basic subheadings on what I believe is style. Just have a look in the photo below of what I had originally come up with:

My brainstorming on the definition of style!

Two types of style

So to begin with I think there are two types of style:

1.       Quick Style

2.       Lasting Style

Each type has their own purpose, and are both necessary in your quest to style, but ultimately lasting style is what we all want to strive for.

Quick style is important in the early days. The way to “quick style”, can be viewed in an earlier post I did: . This is still the best, quickest and easiest way to get started, and I will go into specific examples of this in later posts.

“Quick style” is a way we can learn what to wear and when to wear it, through trial and error. It is a very good way to get us thinking about our image and the way we present ourselves. Mostly, it serves the purpose of us being “consciously aware” of style, ourselves and the way we are viewed by everyone else. From this we can then build up the foundations to create lasting style.

Lasting style is more  of an in-depth, continuous improvement-type view that covers a number of different aspects of our life and that will come together in such a way that even on our worst, average and most disappointing days we will still be viewed as stylish.

Because eventually unless you have “lasting style”, you will fall down in a number of ways. What happens the next time you meet with the girl you’ve got a date with that night (that she thought you were stylish)? Unless your style is lasting, there is no way you’re going to get to a third date with her!

To further illustrate the difference between the two, and why it is inevitably going to be important to focus on lasting style, I’ll use an old house as an example/analogy.

Let’s assume this old house is starting to look old and decrepit and has a wooden frame that is starting to rot (or has termites) and you the owner need to do something about it.

What are the possibilities?

If you needed to sell it straight away you could give it a quick paint from top to bottom, maybe install a new kitchen and put in some new carpet, if time and money permits. This is the equivalent of quick style, who knows how much longer before the wooden frame gives way, but it doesn’t matter because your quick style has served its purpose, just as it would if you had to dress up for one night.

However, if you are going to live in it for the next 10 years, then it is going to be a good idea to replace the wooden frames, put in some termite protection, add some waterproofing and on top of that still give it a paint job, extra kitchen, new floors and maybe even a new bathroom. But needless to say you are going to have confidence in it and hence be comfortable living in it, just as you would have the confidence and be very, very comfortable within your own new stylish self with the lasting style you’ve created!

I hope this analogy connects with everyone who reads it because as a structural engineer, I guess it’s my way of incorporating my profession into this site J.

I will be going into more detail of quick style in the future and give specific examples where everyone can get started, but for the remainder of this post I will focus on lasting style, and why it is important to keep this in the back of your minds whenever making decisions down the track in relation to your own style.

Lasting Style

So what is lasting style?

As mentioned earlier, from extreme analysis, I have come up with 4 main sub categories (Style Quarts) for men’s style. These being:

• Image
• Presence
• Intelligence; and
• Lifestyle

Each of these categories intertwine with one another and have certain aspects of each other that overlap:

The four quarts of style!

However, when meeting new people there will only be two of these categories that a person will immediately notice of you: Image and your Presence. They won’t visually notice your presence, but they will be able to tell if it’s there or not, unlike your image. These are the two upfront quarts that give you your style.

Intelligence and Lifestyle are running in the back ground and complementing the two foreground quarts:

Style behind the scenes!

This post will be continued in Part 2.

Learn to dress with style right away!

There I was sitting in my first year college exams, sweating, and moving around with “nervous” written all over my face. I kept on going over and over in my mind “should I do it?” “should I do it?”

Do what you ask?

Under my sleeve, I had written every answer a friend had given me the night before to help me get through the exam.

The problem

Now this is wrong isn’t it?….because it is copying (or cheating). But here’s the thing: To learn everything that I needed, would have taken in excess of days….where as what my friend told me (and I wrote on my arm) took less than an hour and could eventually give me the same result.

Unfortunately, from a young age, all during school we are taught that copying is wrong.

The Solution

But, as most of you could be aware that it is the opposite to this as you get older, which makes it a lot easier for everyone.

By this I mean:

The quickest way to learn to dress with style is to copy someone!

So copy your friend who you know has style and puts a lot of time looking for the latest trends, copy someone that you don’t even know, but respect the way he dresses and holds himself, or even copy someone from Hollywood be it a Clooney, Pitt or Bana, If you want to get more adventurous.

Next Actions

1. So find someone that you want to look like, or that you know/think has style and take notice of what they are wearing, how they are wearing it, and why they are wearing it. A lot of it has to do with the mannerisms they also use, so take note of these. If you do the same or similar you will be Styling it up in no time.

I will be posting a follow up sometime in the future with online resources that I use with this approach with also.

Please comment below, if you have any further questions in relation to this post that I can address in the second part?

The confidence to do anything at all

Did you know that there is only ONE thing holding you back from any or all of the following: 1. picking up the hottest girl in the bar, 2. being the man that other people turn to for style tips, 3. becoming the life of the party, 4. being a powerful leader, or even 5. being a billionaire and meeting famous people and influencers?

Confidence

The confidence to approach the girl, the confidence to wear what you want, the confidence to take on a new task, The confidence to take a risk, the confidence know you’ll succeed, the confidence to pretty much do anything.

However, confidence is something that unfortunately comes and goes. It’s not just a matter of finding confidence and then having it for the rest of your life, as nice as this would be. I’m sure you can probably think of times in your life when you HAVE had confidence and also times when you HAV’NT.

The One Thing

As I was trying to think back over the times in my life when I have confidence, and I found ONE common trait that influenced it every time. It’s probably not rocket science, BUT, by knowing it will allow you to consciously use it next time you’re in need of a good dose of confidence.

So Here it is:

HAVE A SECOND (Better) OPTION

It may seem quite intuitive, but not many men actually keep this in mind when they go about doing something new or important.

Lets think about it?

I have had countless friends comment to me that it is SO much easier to pickup girls when they already have a girlfriend. Do you think this is just coincidence everytime? Not likely. Its because they have a (better) second option waiting for them at home.

In much the same way, when we go for a new job. Its not a good idea to get your heart set on ONE job otherwise you take the weaker position, because you NEED the job. Whereas if you have a second (better or equivalent) potential job interview lined up, you will excel in the first with a LOT more confidence.

Next Actions

1. Next time you are doing something, whether it is building up the confidence to talk to someone, ask for their phone number,  going for a new job, or even just to stop worrying about get fired from your current one, think to yourself and even write down: What are my second (better) options? You will be amazed how much confidence this will give you.

Please comment if you have had any examples where having a second (better) option has helped you have confidence?